Being Happy With What We Have

I heard a quote once that I really think it true. This is what it says:

It's not about having what you want...
It's about wanting what you have.

I have mentioned briefly in this blog that we have a son (almost 20) who is serving a two year mission for our church. When he left us it was very hard for this Mommy to say goodbye to my oldest child and to realize that I really would not see him for two more years, not even one single time. Tears flowed freely for several weeks. It was really hard to look over to where he sat often and worked on his computer designing websites, or creating computer art work and his chair was empty. I missed him dancing Lindy-Hop routines on my hardwood floor and scratching them with his black and white leather saddle shoes. Most of all I missed our long talks about nutrition and health and spiritual matters. My son is amazingly deep and his conversations mean so much to me. One day not quite a month out on his mission I was really missing him, it was a dark winter day, and I was pretty down. As I thought about my situation, it sort of dawned on me that I had to do something or this next two years were not only going to be miserable, but long. I decided right there on the spot that one year from that moment that I would be able to say that the past year would be glorious! I used the word glorious in my mind. I made up my mind that while I missed my son, I needed to create a happy life, a life that was filled with new and interesting things in it. An interesting thing has happened since I made that decision....I am seeing goodness and glorious things all around me. I am seeing joy in the small and simple things that before when I was grieving over my son's departure I was missing. Each day I go on a bike ride with my family. Just this morning I felt this goodness in my life. I felt thankful to have my two middle sons with me biking along side of me. The sun was lovely and the morning was bright. My nine year old son and I discussed goals he is working on and some fears he is experiencing. It was incredible to be listening to this young boy with so much depth for his age.

Like you, I have many goals. Some are quite lofty, some are simple. One dream I have is to own a cabin again. While I want this cabin one day, I choose to be happy as can be here in my home with my family now. I am finding joy in small things such as a dinner with another couple in my church with just Karl and I. I am loving attending the local free summer movies with my children, and eating watermelon this summer with my kids. Since I decided to make this year glorious, I am finding joy in just watching my kids play. This morning my heart swelled as I looked at my nine year old daughter sleeping in her bed with her new bright orange comforter all curled up around her and there on her pillow was our orange cat curled up right next to our daughter sound asleep too.

I miss my son who is far away from us right now. But I am so happy that he is happy and doing good things in his life. Our time away from one another in the long run will be brief. Life is made up of wonderful and glorious moments. While he is away, instead of pining away the days crying over his absence, I chose to live a full and happy life. I won't minimize that when a child leaves the "nest" it is not hard, because it is, but it can also be a wonderful time if we let it be. I want to want what I have now, and by wanting what I have, I end up feeling fulfilled. I would love to see my son's face today, but his time to be back with us is not yet. It would be easy to slip into the mindset of "I want my son home why I can't have him right now?" But that does not make anyone happy. So in the mean time while we are waiting for our son to return home to us, we are all living happy and fulfilled lives. It is a choice. We are choosing to want what we have.